In the late 80’s and early 90’s there were a few movies and shows that had my peers, family and local community quoting one liners to each other
Movies like “Gerry McGuire” had everyone shouting “Show me the money!” , “Once Were Warrior’s” left us with “Cook the man some ***** egg’s”, “Dirty Dancing” gave us “Nobody leaves Baby in a corner…!” and “Dallas” had us all quizzing each other as to “who really shot JR?”
But there was one movie that seemed to have a very surprising impact on my family. The movie of course was “Road House”. Now, if you haven’t watched it, by today’s standards of emotion, script and acting it is a big corny and predictable but back in the day, this was high enough quality that it was copied off the rented video and everyone I knew had a copy (or maybe that was just in my town). The whole plot of this story was that Patrick Swayze ( who was at that time a proper hit with the ladies after every ladies book club, bridge club and Tupperware party group had been to see Dirty Dancing more than 7 times each) was cast in the role of what is termed a “Cooler”, basically the head of nightclub security, supposed to be the best in the US who was recruited to work in this bar that was a little rough and the new guv’nor had come in, done a refurb and now wanted to clean up the rough element that came in there to have a few beers, get a bit crazy and raise some Hell!
Swayze’s character, “Dalton” went in to see the bar, make some assessments, obviuously took on the job but then had a few problems with the locals, so makes a call to a friend of his called “Wade Garret” who is in the same trade and invites him down to come and help him out.
Now Garrett comes across as a bit of a mentor or father figure to Dalton and they are having one particular heart to heart moment where Dalton is talking about something that had happened “back in the day” that he was obviously still carrying. Garrett stops him in his tracks and says to him “Hey!! Drop it!! That dog won’t hunt no more!!”
The context doesn’t come across so well in the written medium but what he was referring too is something that I am becoming more and more aware of in life.
Basically, what this pertains to is that in life and especially in the personal development world that I am exposed to is that people are wanting to develop themselves and get a better outcome in their lives. Now, as you know, to get a different outcome in life, we have to start doing different things. There is no mystery to this.
What I am seeing though and becoming acutely aware of is that often people make an attempt at change and they meet with what they deem to be “failure”. They are not successful in making that change. Whilst we like to all think that we are all “logical” people and we would all get up and try again, the truth is a LOT further from that.
A lot of the time, people stop trying. They stop believing that there IS something out there that is what they want to live. They stop hunting for that ultimate outcome that they are after.
The highest level of this is where deep emotion is involved. When you look at what makes people do things, what motivates people to do things, you realise that all of us human being’s are “towards pleasure” motivated and “away from pain” motivated. Now if someone has some deep emotional connection to that failed outcome, like if they have invested a huge amount of money (especially if they can’t really afford it) in a business venture, property deal, whatever… They have a deep and painful connection to what their aspirations lead them too – because they wanted to make their lives better.
I have seen people literally sitting on the side lines, WISHING that they could get “back in the game” but totally driven by the fear of the past experience, when they “got burnt”. One of two things happen here, they either reside themselves to a life of mediocrity where they literally “cut themselves off” from that desire to achieve something bigger or they live with an inner conflict or the desire to make the change but the fear of getting burnt again. Either way, in my opinion, this is where “LIVING” ends. People start to merely “exist” and “go though the motions”….
Another very powerful example of this is failed relationships, where emotion has run so strong and then something bad happened and it ended and both party’s get hurt so deeply that they literally cut themselves off from ever feeling that deeply again. They reside themselves to accepting the pressures that society puts on them and just go through the motions again and making do with “someone” over “The One” because the pain of the past is too deep to get into again.
In any one of these situations, as soon as someone resides themselves to what their mind tells them that they should do because it’s the safer route over what their heart tells them that they deserve, is the day that mediocrity kicks in.
The thing I am getting at here is that we whilst we all like to think that we are logical animals, that’s rubbish. We are emotional animals. We act on emotion and then justify those actions with logic and pain will always make us use logic to justify quicker than the lure of pleasure.
When you are going for someething way outside your comfort zone, it’s scary as Hell. Self doubt kicks in and ultimately we go back into our comfort zones but then we start having to live with a bit of self-loathing because we were too scared to live “fully out there”. Nobody ever said this was going to be easy but as some wise person back in the day said, “Boats are safest in the harbour but boats are not built to be in the harbour”.
To your Health, Wealth and Happiness
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